I’d like to start by asking a few questions. How many of us feel like we’re walking on a tightrope? Do you ever feel like you’re spiritually and emotionally dead? How does it feel when you don’t feel like your needs are being satisfied by your friends, family, or even God? I can honestly say that I can answer “yes” on a regular basis to these questions.
One song that has really blessed me is Selah’s “More and More of You”. It is an amazing song where the singer is crying out to God, asking Him to “fill us with Your fire, give us Your desires, Hold us close to You…give us revelation, Your healing visitation…”
How often I have cried those same words in my heart. In my life, there have been times where I have been at my absolute lowest. I have felt like I can’t feel anything emotionally. I don’t feel good enough. I don’t feel like I can measure up to the expectations that my friends, my family and God has for me. There have been days where I just collapse and melt into a pool of tears as I cry out to God and simply just ask Him to fill me and make me whole again.
Something that He has been teaching me is to use my loneliness and emptiness to drive me closer to Him. In order to “fill (me) with Your fire, give (me) Your desires, hold (me) close to You,” He needs to be able to empty me of myself and desires so that I can truly know what it’s like to be filled with God.
In my devotions, I am reading a delightful book called “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young. It’s written from the perspective of God talking to His child. In it I read, “I want you to be all Mine. I am weaning you from other dependencies. Your security rests in Me alone- not in other people, not in circumstances. Depending only on Me may feel like walking on a tightrope, but there is a safety net underneath: The everlasting arms.”
I can say that I have felt like I was on a tightrope so many times. I have trusted in friends that I thought would be there for forever and always. However God had other plans and removed those relationships. I have relied on my skills of preparation and speaking to best serve my team and I in mock trial only to come to my final competition and be so exhausted and unfocused that it was all I could do in my own strength to put one foot in front of the other to walk to the next room that I had to be in.
God is weaning us from our “needs” which are really just things that our flesh wants. “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.” (Romans 8:5) We have to make a choice to have “enough of getting everything we want. “ We need to be “weary of living this life just for us.”
Isaiah 66:2 says, “For all those things My hand has made, And all those things exist,” Says the Lord. “But on this one will I look: On him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, And who trembles at My word.” We need to have a broken, humble, and contrite spirit before God. We need to ask God to “forgive us for seeking Your hand and not Your face.” We need to ask God to “Come and empty us, Father…” We need to tell Him that “we are desperate in this place.”
God is a God of love. He loves to bless His people. We need to acknowledge God for Who He is and be grateful and thankful for everything He’s given us. God truly has “given us so much more than we deserve.” He delivers “us by the power of (His) Word.”
When our prayer is answered or people see Christ in us and give us credit, we must immediately give credit to Whom it is due. We’re supposed to be “giving (Him) the honor that is (His).” We need to thank God for His love. His love and the sacrifice that He made at Calvary; “this is what we are living for.” 2 Corinthians 9:15 says, “Thank God for His indescribable gift.”
God’s gift is the ultimate gift. It is the greatest gift the world has ever seen or will see. By that gift, mankind has a future, a chance to be restored to a right relationship with God. The song details some of God’s blessings, “The love that covers us” as well as “the Savior’s mercy.” Selah describes, “The blood makes us spotless white, “ like it says in Isaiah 1:18, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.”
We need to be filled with the Holy Spirit and constantly be asking God to fill us with His power alone. As Sarah Young says in Jesus Calling, “Strive to trust Me in more and more areas of your life…Trust is like a staff you can lean on, as you journey uphill with Me. If you are trusting in Me consistently, the staff will bear as much of your weight as needed. Lean on, trust, and be confident in Me with all your heart and mind.” (Jesus Calling, Sarah Young page 33)
More and More of You by Selah: